The plan was to go on a morning run, to embrace that cold November morning and to run. But everything changed that November morning.
She opened her eyes and there IT was. Like a boulder so heavy and dangerous. She could smell the cigarette, beer and body odor. She felt helpless as she tried to yell. His hand was over her mouth as he tried to……
He said, “stop or he dies”. He? Who is he? She looked to her left and there he was. An innocent child. A little boy next to his sister. Her heart was pounding, she could hear it and she wanted to RUN.
He is AWAKE! He tries to push the boulder off his sister. He is too small, he is only a child and he is afraid. The boulder throws him and the little boy freezes. Fear overcomes him as he watches his sister get…..
No! You can’t see this! She wants to scream and tell him to run. Jump out the window and RUN! No matter what, just RUN. But she couldn’t be loud. Another innocent boy laid in another room and she could not wake him up. She could only imagine how much this would scar that poor child in the other room. One little boy’s innocence is already getting tainted and that is more than enough.
The Boulder has a “knife” and she can’t risk her brother’s lives. FALSE! It’s not a knife! It’s a fork! It’s a fork she yells to her brother. RUN! CALL THE POLICE! But he can’t. He is frozen. FEAR HAS TAKEN OVER THE LITTLE BOY. The boulder pushes the girl down and says that he can still hurt her with a fork. She manages to push him and he stops before he gets too far. He backs up and APOLOGIZES! He says that he is only there for someone else. He says that he will not hurt them anymore. He talks about it being THANKSGIVING AND THAT HE JUST WANTED TO SEE “HER”. Her was his ex-wife. A woman that was staying with her family for a while. She was no longer there and he was “sad”. He says that he plans to kill himself in front of them and that he promised not to hurt them. She begs him to leave as she sits next to her little brother with a million thoughts going through her head. They ask him to kill himself elsewhere and to leave. The kids are so afraid, fear is cruel and one of the most dehumanizing feeling.
He asks if anyone is home, the girl quickly says no. She knew that her mother’s husband was probably asleep and she prayed that he would hear the noise. He left the room as soon as the girl confirmed that they were alone. The kids sat in silence and felt relief when he walked out of the room. They thought he was leaving. FALSE! He returns and calls the girl out of the room. She follows because she is afraid and her youngest brother is in the living room sleeping. He fell asleep on the couch the night before after a movie.
As soon as the door closes behind them, he grabs her and she fights back but he is too strong. She falls to the ground and BAM! She hits the floor and there it is again. The boulder is there, he is touching her and she begs for him to stop. She tries to push him off and she yells, please don’t RAPE me, don’t take my VIRGINITY away! He tells her to shut up and do as he says or he will kill her brothers, this time he has a knife. How can she be selfish? How can she risk her brother’s lives? The knife is the kitchen knife, the one she has watched her mother use a thousand times to cut meat. Her mother’s laughter and voice come to her mind as she reminisced about the way she cut the meat. The girl feels stupid for even thinking of that and she cries. She wants her mother. She feels helpless, she closes her eyes and imagines the after. Another victim, another 15-year-old female, another number, another poor soul among the many, she had just turned 15, how can this happen on Thanksgiving day? This will be another news story in a small town, a rape and possibly three dead minors. Where was the mother they will say? Why wasn’t she there? How did the stepfather not hear them? They will judge us without knowing. People will be cruel to her mother.
Her pants get pulled down and from fear, she fights one last time. She does not feel strong anymore. Allowing him to rape her, almost seems easier. But she tries one more time. He accidentally drops the knife and she grabs it. But she is unable to use it, her hand falls and she has zero strength. How can that be? She has the opportunity to stab him in the neck and end it all! But, she can’t. Her wrist falls and he takes the knife. He has power all over again, but then he gets up! She looks back and sees her stepfather walking out of his room. He was sleepy and confused. This was her chance to RUN! She pulled her pants up and she didn’t look back.
“Today I wore a pair of faded old jeans and a plain grey baggy shirt. I hadn’t even taken a shower, and I did not put on an ounce of makeup. I grabbed a worn out black oversized jacket to cover myself with even though it is warm outside. I have made conscious decisions lately to look like less of what I felt a male would want to see. I want to disappear.”